Atheism from the perspective of a life long atheist.

I don’t have the anger or disappointment that lays behind the words and arguments of former theists. I also had very little in depth knowledge of doctrine before religion came bothering me and my family. I had the mad aunt who mad us go to church and had in younger days and the many people insisting quite crudely that I will burn for eternity. Considered the proposition of god was something I did, it is not easy to avoid people who believe and need you to believe, but nothing about religion seemed important in my life and in the long run not worth consideration. I never once believed or saw the need.

So what is atheism? Atheism is quite simply a lack of belief in gods, any gods.

Hug an atheist and feel the love :)

Hug an atheist and feel the love 🙂

The only thing missing from the definition of atheist, and a big part of the reason for there being atheists in the first place, is a definition of god. It is a fact that in trying to define god the many religious doctrines of man become contradictory, demand of authority, they guess at things they cant hope to know and are scientifically and historically inaccurate. For someone like me it is hard to understand why anyone would ever believe.

To clarify my position before starting, I do not regard religion, church or the doctrines to be the only measure of god. Mind you, to clarify the importance of doctrine in defining religion, if you believe in a god or more a jesus, that is in any way like the biblical, and claim not to be christian or religious, you are an idiot. I personally hold the position that ALL spiritual, psychic and untestable woo claims that define themselves as supernatural or outside our natural world (another way of saying supernatural) are by nature god claims. As any claim of jesus is christian, any claim of supernatural is godlike. As our theist counterparts can not define god, I take it upon myself to do so and equally, I do not accept redefining of existing terms. Of the 3000-6000 gods know to man most were not creator gods (though several were, it was a busy time), the one defining quality of god is being supernatural.

Returning to my initial point, atheism is a lack of belief, in fact more a denial of proposition, of god. God being anything or any claim of a supernatural nature.

Ask, really, ask. There are not many questions I wont answer to the best of my ability or openly admit I don't know the answer.

Ask, really, ask. There are not many questions I wont answer to the best of my ability or openly admit I don’t know the answer.

Without clarification on the term god atheism is often claimed by people who are far from atheist. Buddhists often claim atheism (until it comes time to get tax breaks, then they are a religion) insisting enlightenment is not the same as god, yet, the stories within buddhist doctrine insist buddha is higher that the heavens, in effects a super-god. Some jewish people claim atheism but like a christian who denies he is religious, you have to pick and choose your doctrine carefully to redefine your religion that way. These people are not atheist, their beliefs still center on a raft of supernatural claims and stories. What value does any religion have if it doesn’t have a god? To clearly define atheism all supernatural claims must be pooled together as god.

I have been atheist by this definition all my life.

As a child my parents went through the Santa game with me (as I have with mine in turn, it proved to be a great tool for teaching critical thinking) but I as all kids must, always wondered at the chimney story. I believed in Santa, what option was there, I was a child and my parents were my authority figures (the same as religious indoctrination, but, less harmful), I did however think of Santa as a real living person (elves and workshops were a great story). I got chills from the shadows in my room as all kids (and some adults) do but on coming fully awake I don’t ever recall believing there were actually monsters or ghosts. I had a long running dream of my younger brother falling from Ayers Rock in central Australia. Though the dream was vivid and scared me I never remember thinking it prophetic.

I never remember thinking people who bent spoons and did tricks I didn’t understand were in fact supernatural, it was just tricks, magic, illusion. Not believing in the mystical or magical never took the joy from things in life, if anything it added to my love of it. Knowing people could be so clever and trick me, knowing if I studied I could learn to do it too. Knowing there were explanations to be found and things still to be learned. Today I still have things that excite me like this, I love rocket science and love history. I still know I could learn these things and do the work but given my life’s finite nature it is enough to know other people understand it and I in turn do things they don’t. If I live to be 300 I will try it all but now I have other things to do and learn.

As an adult I ran a cinema in a building more than 100 years old. I had many people tell me the story of how a woman may have died there and still to this day haunted the building (I know of no evidence for the death story) The cinema room proper is a converted dance hall with the cinema seating built over the original dance floors. It is a quite beautiful building for it’s location in central Australia and its history as a dance hall is clearly defined in the building for anyone looking. Fact is and I will credit this point, the room is quite creepy, something that set my fact seeking mind running. When you walk in to the dark hall the shadows dance, odd reflections on the darkened room that give the sensation of movement. Not believing in the supernatural and having time in the building to search for the reason I did just that. The original windows were boarded up but never completely sealed, the brickwork also leaks some light due to the mortar turning to sand over 100 years. Originally a dance hall it was not constructed to be light proof. The building leaks light, nothing more, still people tell stories of seeing ghostly images but I will never understand jumping to the conclusion anything is ghostly. Because I saw something I looked for the cause and each and every one of the shadowy regions led to at least one sometimes pinhole sized light leak, sometimes more. Knowing full well what the effect was caused by, I still occasionally thought as I walking into the room that someone was there before me and felt the tingle up my spine. These evolutionary responses to things in my environment are not evidence of ghosts and yes, I love it. It’s amazing that a very natural effect on a darkened space and with full understanding of it, I could still get that tingle. Even as a fully reasoning human I am still the culmination of millions of years of evolution, beautiful.

That guy who said,

That guy who said, “are you sure?”.

I am also a great fan of fiction, escapism is a great form of relaxation and sometimes clever writing tests or minds and expands our thinking. Nothing is more satisfying than loosing yourself in a fiction story, visualizing the characters and events as you read them. I appreciate not only the story but the writing skill and find great pleasure in it. This is one if my life’s little pleasures but at the end I never believe in fairies because someone wrote about fairies.

My other pleasures (of which I have many) include landscape and wildlife photography. I am no less in awe of the life and function of a lizard in nature than I am knowing the sun is a ball of burning gas and not a god. Knowing the truth of something is something I can not imagine swapping for a guess such as “because god did it”. I want to know the blood flowing in the lizard keeps it alive as mine keeps me alive and the air I breath is the same air it breaths. I find no shortage of joy or wonder in these things. Even the fact life ends and everything breaks down to become something else’s nutrient is beautiful.

The idea that atheist have no joy is simply a way to justify belief and enhance hate. This idea and the other ridiculous and abusive claims made against atheists will be my next blog. At this time it is enough to know that I am a life long atheist and that my atheism has always extended to all supernatural claims.

I hope I have explained my basic position well enough but I may return to this another day as my life long atheism and never having been a theist is the thing that has driven my writing. I have no issue with ex-theists or their expression, I simply want to address the fact that knowing a religion from the inside is not the only way to be atheist. Addressing religion and the nature of belief I did early in life, addressing specific doctrine came much later and is the least important part of my being atheist.

Until next time I write stay well and enjoy life. I am open to questions (but not preaching, had that shit all my life) so feel free if you have any.

May your gods remain fictional.

The Antitheocrat.


The feminists are out claiming an epidemic of women being killed, using a woman’s death for their financial and political gain. Truth is however that far more men have been murdered this year and male suicide is still happening at a staggering rate, as we pour money in to women’s services and leave men behind.


Hotel construction in China. I’ve always liked stacks of books. No other reason for this image 🙂

And this is the point of the scare, millions of dollars in women’s services funding runs out this year. The feminist-run services need to find reasons to continue the funding and raw statistics and facts are not going to do the job. Especially while more and more statistics are being produced from raw data and not feminist theory. They need your fear so they can profit, and they are willing to use a woman’s death to push their cause. Not one of the services they could have been funding was a “buddy to walk with” service, everything is about “after care” where they can profit from the damage rather than prevent it.

Truth is, in the past 3 years 4 women were raped then killed in Melbourne. A terrible statistic but significantly low, as in not epidemic rates (I agree there should not have been one, but then there shouldn’t have been any men killed by female partners or children killed by their mothers – where is that campaign?). Also, maybe this is not about society but about our legal system, as 3 of the 4 perpetrators in Melbourne were out on parole or bail at the time. Maybe we did already have them locked up and maybe we should have kept them there. We don’t need more education on the street, we need more education in the courts. How will funding more campaigns showing all men and boys they are horrible people solve anything, if it’s the small minority being let out of prison who are committing the crimes.

There really is no epidemic of women being killed. Sorry ladies, but you are far more likely to die falling off something than you are getting raped and killed at night. Don’t let the feminists make you scared of living just so they can make money. Money used by people like White Ribbon Australia whose great contribution to stopping Domestic Violence is self promotion and advertising that they’ve “raised awareness”. We men try not to live as victims of our higher murder rate. We know the danger and live with it as everyone else does, but it doesn’t stop us taking care at night.

By funding women’s services behind this scare campaign we actually put more women in danger. How does telling people it isn’t their job to be responsible for their own safety help anyone? This is their message, as they drive this in the media, listen to them, they will blame men and tell men to be better, and tag it with “women should be safe at night” or “women shouldn’t need to be responsible for their own safety”. This is a dangerous message for women, and one we don’t tell men. We generally expect men to be responsible for their actions and expect them to not intentionally get into situations where they get killed. “Your safety starts with you” is a good message and not something to be shunned, but this is what these services do.


Domestic Violence display at a human services charity with government funding. 100% women with men only seen as needing to fix themselves.

What we need is funding for everyone’s mental health, to curb all violence, to offer support to all victims and to provide non-gendered legal aid to all people. All areas currently dominated by women-only services. Most of who will treat men in need as perpetrators not victims.

How exactly do we expect men to stop killing themselves, one another, or women, if they are always treated as the enemy, it makes me angry. Not violent but angry, to have my sons and myself blamed for crimes we’ve never committed, but I can see how it would anger some people to violence. The transgender axe attack that just happened was preceded by twitter posts about feeling there was no solution to male destructive nature (the other side of this feminist thinking, the blaming men side where there is no hope until we fix men message). Feeling helpless to make change can make people act out, in men it’s largely suicide not killing women, but it is the feminist services that are driving this very message of helplessness.

To fix the world, we have to recognise that funding feminism has done nothing to help matters. A woman in Sweden, the country considered most feminist, has asked for a 10-30 years stop to feminist rule because rape and murder statistics have risen under feminist theory. I don’t agree it is the entire cause but the fact is Sweden has gotten worse and it is the prime example of feminist theory at work. We need a new solution, the only way we will get it is if we stop funding their campaigns and attempts to drive opinion and stop allowing them to fuel the troubles.

It’s time the feminist funding ran out. Don’t fall for their shit, let them evolve better services without the gender bias or die out.

May your gods remain fictional,

The Antitheocrat.

At age 16 I am a depressed teen wondering what life has in store to make continuing worth the effort. The idea of death is something that comes easily, a vision of hopeful future not so easily.

My father has been disabled in an accident and though I try I still don’t get along with my parents. Like all people my age I would never think to talk to them even if I did. I don’t think they would understand anyway, my life and my 60s born generation are very different from their wartime born generation. How can they possibly understand what I’m going through?


Because blasphemy is isn’t illegal but we can stop you getting paid if you talk about islam. Jihadie Card, cut yours up today.

I don’t know why – I think I’m sociable enough – but I am still not well liked though I know I’m an average 16 year old. I have no real friends, I’m more a hanger-oner in all the circles I travel in, or around. I certainly have no close friends, no confidants, in school hours or out, I’m alone. I have not long since ended my first serious relationship with my first sexual partner, under pressure from family and my peers. I have been single since and barely a girl has noticed me. I am not attractive in my own eyes and don’t see it in other peoples eyes. I’m not sporty, I’m not a genius. I don’t like bragging about my sexual exploits or talking about football. I’m extremely tall and equally thin compared with my peers. Being from a lower middle class family I wear the cheap polyester clothing my mother buys at K-Mart and wear it until they pulls tight. A style matched to the equally fashionable hair cuts she gives me. I suspect none of this would be the problem If I had friends, but, I am alone in the world and these things can’t be helping.

I wish I knew what life I had to look forward to as I face the idea of taking the short road to the grave yet again. I wish I had someone I could talk to or at least enjoy the company of to have time away from these thoughts.

30 years on, I’ve reached my mid 40’s. I don’t know how I got here but those teen years don’t seem that far away. My own son is 16 and going through similar things to those I went through. I wish I could assure him life is the better option but I have trouble convincing myself some days. I wish someone could have encouraged me when I was 16, something more than the usual platitudes, so I had something to work from, instead I was instructed in my duties and given little emotional support to get there. I’m the strong backbone my wife and son need but I can’t be there emotionally. I have to hope my strength is seen as caring, as I know it is.


There;s the science, then there’s the psychosis of feminist psychology.

In my teen years there were no councillors offering to mop up our every tear with their book learning and officially sanctioned words of encouragement. Without it, like so many before me, I still managed to survive to adulthood. It wasn’t always easy but we did it. In my teens and later in my twenties I did consider an early death. In my 20’s I considered religion, not seeking a god I most certainly don’t believe in, but seeking to know if anyone else has a better plan – and failing to find one. In my 40’s life is still not perfect but the journey, as I look back on it, has for all it’s low points, has been quite wonderful. My seeking did open my mind to other peoples experiences, beliefs, psychosis and cultures. If advice had been available I am not sure what advice I would have preferred anyway. Any advice from an adult would have had a limited reach. As a boy talking with peers is limited to nonsense and bragging. Any advice I received wouldn’t have had the foresight to show me how my life was to progress or where it may as yet go. How could it? As an adult looking at back, what advice would I – or anyone – offer my 16 year old self? There is no way I could have seen the brilliant second option I took on leaving school would fail me and the many years of difficulty and growing up I had to do away from the safety of home and family before I met my wife.

How can we assure young people that life is what you yourself make it? Life is full of ups and downs and when you are down, staying down is a choice you often make for yourself. Getting up is a difficult option that takes work. The further down you are the harder the fight to get up. The key is to find the pleasure in getting up, a joy that can with time overshadow the down times. How do you explain that life is full of beauty, made up of small beautiful things, small things to treasure and enjoy?

In my teens I would have loved to have known about my life as it is now, perhaps not of the journey but the fact I made it here and am generally happy with life. The problem may be that my teen self would have thought it all impossible, that the vision couldn’t be my own life but another’s. Even seeing the future may not have been enough. The partners good and bad that I have had, the love I have felt and shared, owning my dream car and having to sell it. family, trade and my business are things I, nor anyone else, can not have foreseen. If I could step back and assure myself the journey, the good and the bad, was worth taking, would I do it? If I could, how would I tell 16 year old me that who I am today is everything I was – including him – and that I just need to battle on?

In my mid 40’s I have contemplated death and I am as ready for death now as I was in the past. The difference now is that I am accepting of death, but accepting does not mean wanting, I just don’t fear it. I most certainly hope to live a long time yet but I’ll die when it happens and be no more. I don’t believe in gods or afterlives, religious doctrines mean nothing to me and I have no need of them or the idea of living forever in some form that is not me. Believing in unproven doctrines about possible happenings after death will not stop death coming to us all and it doesn’t seem to give people no more comfort than simple atheistic acceptance. Death is inevitable, something none of us can avoid and acceptance of death is not letting fear of it control your life. How would I explain to me at 16 that life and it’s corresponding mortality is nothing to fear? At 16 mortality hangs heavy on most of us, as we outgrow our youthful belief in immortality. How do you explain to anyone that life is short and that every moment should be enjoyed as best we possibly can?


But it’s not man hate.

How do any of us share our lives and the joys we would have missed had we not lived? I wish I knew what to say so I could share this with my son and the world. I wish I could share the joys of my life and soften the load of things I once thought were key to my existence. I wish I could explain that grades at school have a limited and short lived impact on your life, that you can rise above those things. Some of us may race ahead at school and have everything fall apart on them. Life does not end if you don’t get those grades, only giving up and not continuing your learning can be considered personal failure. Life is entirely what you yourself make it and educated rich people who battle for power and wealth seem no happier than I am with my wonderful life and meagre achievements.

How do you explain that life is short enough without wasting it on misery and worry?

After all of these years I don’t claim to know everything and I still don’t have all of the answers. How do I explain these things which seem so simple to me now? How do I be heard over the voices of capitalism and the principles of wealth based success to explain you can live well and be poor? How do I make my voice heard over the councillors, teachers, peers and media? How do I explain that striving for success is fine but accepting a lesser path is not a failure so long as you find happiness?

These things I wish I knew so I could share my ease of mind with my son.

I penned this half a decade ago and it was written for my own purposes. In writing it I finally allowed only one other person to read it, my wife who I’m lucky to have still supporting me. My life has changed much since then, my eldest son is preparing to leave home and my youngest is starting school next year. Still, after 21 years as an at home father I can’t say I’ve ever completely felt accepted or comfortable in the parenting world. Feminists, and enough women for it to be significant, have told me my job as husband is to be the wage earner and that I’m lazy for not doing so (I think they under value mothers myself).

About 15 years ago I met a man who was given ever rough wide the government could dish out to a father and this led me to realise how bad men and fathers had it in our legal system. This warned me of how fragile my position as a father was in our legal system. The more I get involved in men’s rights the more men I find in my position or worse mentally and it’s for that reason I’m posting.

I hope this serves me as a reminder for me as my youngest son enters school and leaves my parental control (school and state take over now, they put bullies above victims if the bully is a minority and/or one stop from incarceration, the system totally removing us from our child’s welfare if they see someone else’s child as more “troubled”) , I hope it gives my son’s hope for their own futures, and I hope it serves others who may think they’re alone (as I did).

If you’re a father and see yourself in this in any way, know you’re not alone. If you have or know a father, maybe this can help you know and comprehend the things he may not be able to express. I am my families emotional rock and finance manager (I keep the bills paid and don’t discuss them unless I have to do so) and that takes the emotional burden of everyone else making their lives easier, is your father doing that or more for you? Maybe your male family members are in the same position as I have been, some may be worse. Many men don’t even get to be fathers, they only get to pay the parenting bill. I’m lucky to have my family behind me when the weight gets too much, I’m lucky to have my sons in my life… and yet I still penned this letter.

Boy, men and fathers are important, and human. Men’s rights are human rights.

May your gods remain fictional.

The Antitheocrat.

“The Promise of The Cross Ministry” have come to my attention locally with some Easter thing they’re doing, and it got me thinking what this promise is.


The promise of the cross for most of the thousands of people put on them was a slow painful death. If we look at the christian claims that promise is the same but with one badly document motion the story is that the jesus guy had it shortened by a pointy stick allowing him to bleed out in a day or two less than those he was put up with. Now if we consider the story book version of events the cross led to burial in a cave and it is from the cave the mythical man rose in an even less well documented story. So, and here’s the big one, shouldn’t the ministry be called “the Promise of The Cave”?


The cross never promised or gave anything more than a slow death and though the reason for it are highly contentious never promised any thing but a slow death. Ever the story book hero asks why it has to happen and if the torturous death is required. Why the fuck would anyone be celebrating this poor guys slow death when the celebration in the story should be maybe one of the three accounts of what happened at the cave the book offers?
I know, it’s a blood cult religion, this is made clear from the story of Cain and Abel in their precious novel. I get it they love the blood, but, if you want your message to be one of good will and peace at Easter, wouldn’t the Cave make more sense?

Christians really are stupid people.

May Your Gods Remain Fictional,

The Antitheocrat.

Selling out.

Posted: December 29, 2016 in Uncategorized

Hi everyone. I am finding my time spread thin these days as I have to be seen dedicating more time to my family and business. Paying the bills for a radio station and spending valuable time on producing media for my show/blog/facebook… is getting harder to justify. For this reason I have created a Patreon account ( If I can cover the cost of supporting a radio station I will better be able to justify time on creating. I have spelled out in vague terms what any support could achieve but I would like it known that for my own purposes, breaking even is all I need to justify spending my time creating. I am an at home parent, making money is not my primary cause. I have long been a community volunteer and I would love to better support my community activity, far more than needing personal income. Breaking even would allow me to expand myself to that Youtube presence I started but haven’t been able to find time building on.

I am still here. I m still creating. I have not stopped my activism or being atheist. I am not finding quite enough time to get things finished or edited but I hope this coming year to get myself organised and if I can support my activity financially I will be off and running..

Having sold out and tried to justify it…

On with the show. I will be producing a second series of the Cobar Atheists Radio show as soon as the holidays finish and my family go back to not hanging about the house. Quiet recording time was hard enough without the entire family home .

Have a good one and see you all in 2017.

The Antitheocrat.

My Life In Point Form.

Posted: September 1, 2016 in Uncategorized

I often use events in my own life to build on in my writing, it a natural thing to do and if we think about it EVERY one of us writes based in the lessons learned in our own lives. Some of us it may be our education or qualifications and some like myself, on our extensive life and employment experiences.

I understand this use of our personal experience in my writing doesn’t automatically give strength to an argument or take anything from it, not in the way my education and qualifications do to related subject matter. Personal experience only adds a level of connectivity or insight in to my personal perspective I hold on any topic being tabled (unless the topic is actually your personal life, memory is a fickle thing and you have to accept sometimes others will have a different view or memories of events in your life). I often get people trying to ignore or avoid argument by pointing out that my reference to personal experience are not relevant. Well yes they are, they just don’t on their own prove my point and knowing this, I NEVER use my own experiences as evidence of ANY point I am making on their own merit.

Okay so I know anecdotes are not sound evidence but if you can’t write about your own experiences in reference to your writing you’re left using second hand experiences or dry boring facts. In this day and age second hand information through media outlets doesn’t mean factual and I’m always left fact checking and cross referencing press releases or look for the peer reviews on scientific paper, I have learned to trust very little from second hand sources and nothing from editors who specialise in  creating “click bait” titles. I can depend more on my experiences and learning and for some reason I have a pretty good memory for that sort of useless information.

The other problem with my life experiences is that many people have never done or seen as much as I have. I don’t so much have  life plan as a way of taking in to account events in my life and working with them and this has driven me from high point to high point (I don’t let low points slow me long, I’ve done suicidal, it’s boring, getting up is more exciting). I often have to remind myself that my on-line conversations can often be held with middle class people who have never moved outside their safety zone, barely moved more than 6 suburbs (the average in Australia was 6 blocks some years back) from their parents home, never experienced poverty, never had to obtain a range of qualifications, never taken the risk of working through a wide range of careers and never obtained a wide range of skills and experiences. Because I have and will do still more, I find sometimes that people don’t believe I may have as much experience as I claim. For that reason I am making this list and explaining why.

I decided to do this list less for you and more for me anyway. Even I get the the time line messed up or forget things and later wish it had come to mind while writing. If at some point you feel mildly interested in who the Antitheocrat is, maybe this will help you to understand my life experiences and give you an idea who I am. Just maybe it will let you understand how open how open I am about my life and how little I am willing to or need to lie about my life. I do have some embarrassing stories like teenage romance stories I am not so willing to share (even I have an embarrassment level but I am honest when I do find myself discussing them).. I simple have nothing to hide with this one short life my life is an insignificant part of all human endeavour and I care very little about who knows it. The memory of me may last 100 years and only if the internet lasts more than 100 years will my voice last but only as on amongst the billions of cat videos.

So, this is me.

Before me, my background.

  • Father from Australia and a country boy, raised catholic, born to atheist father and convent raised orphan mother.
  • Mother from northern Holland immigrated to Australia at age 9 and a city girl, raised Dutch protestant.
  • Both parent culturally religious.
  • Parents not allowed to marry in catho church.
  • Father received reply-paid envelopes with letter detailing his wages and tithe to be sent in because he was not attending church.
  • Father and mother renounced all ties to religion.
  • Parents married to dismay of families (Dutch immigrant prodo and Australian catho, terrible stuff). They remain married.

Early Years.

  • Born 2 years after parents married in Melbourne Australia.
  • No religion at home, was always allowed to explore religion on my own.
  • Kindergarten, Primary School uneventful.
  • Primary school took Religious Instruction.
  • Tried Sunday School. Parents dedication to my exploration meant my prodo mother had to sit through 3 hour catho sermons as part of the deal. Finger paint and big boats full of animals didn’t take.
  • Played recorder and piano in primary. Knew I want to play saxophone at age of 5.
  • Got into High School with music speciality and started saxophone.

Early years of travel and moving.

  • Father built motor home on an old truck (twice).
  • Family travelled all of mainland Australia by time I was 15.
  • Lived in Sydney at 10 for a few months due to fathers work.
  • 4 Months in Europe to visit mothers birth place and tour Europe.
  • Turned 12 in Scotland.
  • Singapore to list at age 15.
  • Family moved to Darwin to live at age 13.

Moving and the effect of moving.

  • Took up saxophone at a top music high school in Melbourne.
  • Moving to Darwin meant music was not as available but at one school teachers giving me freedom to use the music rooms and instrument store room. Discovered I could learn any instrument in 2 weeks to a level high enough to play basics in a band.
  • Played Tenor and Soprano Saxophone, Trumpet and Trombone in 7 bands covering Classical, Military (including the marching), Pub Rock, Show Tunes and Jazz before moving away from Darwin.
  • Following music programs eventually took me to 4 high schools.
  • Was in top maths class in Melbourne having worked up to it. Moved to Darwin was placed in bottom with 2+2=5’ers based on primary school report cards.
  • Reached year 10 having missed algebra, taught myself algebra from a maths book given to me by my teacher for the purpose during year 11.
  • Needed catch up year for science and maths to enter Physics. Did year 11 at lower level and repeated to take Physics.
  • Ended 2 years of Year 11 with 12 passes from a total of 14 subjects. Math I & II, Chemistry, Biology, English Literature, Modern European History, and a load of other subjects. Got bored with Economics after topping the class most of the year and got a C- in Physics with a teacher who took everything below C as a fail and reported it as an E on the report card.
  • Senior St John Ambulance cadet for 5 years. Served as Ambulance support at events, was on the first aid competition team, was drill Sargent for the competition drill (marching) squad and was first aid trainer for junior cadets.
  • Was well versed in sex and alcohol consumption from 15.
  • Participated in illegal drag racing with mates from age 16.
  • Physics grade not as hoped for at the end of year 11 so dropped out unable to see university in future at my wanted levels (Electronic Engineering or Architecture)  and didn’t like school life enough to consider continuing a best option..
  • Of 2 Apprenticeship offers took the trade of Industrial Instrument Fitter over Chef as engineering is still part of my ideal world even if I do in fact enjoy cooking.

Life at 15. An important year..

  • Father died 2 times on way to hospital after being run down on his motorcycle on way home from work. We arrived at hospital one hour before ambulance because they couldn’t work out how to pick him up of the road with his fractured pelvis.
  • Dad spent 3 months critical care in hospital (up to 14 drops of morphine a minute), told he would never walk again. Intensive care for an additional period.
  • During hospital family shifted from lower middle class to poor. Father was shift worker at level 3 in public service with an income based on shift allowances. Compensation paid only 75% of base without shift allowances.
  • Brother and self ate Vegemite sandwiches in nurses smoko room to make up for limited meals at home and school. Family friends supplied evening meals 2 – 3 times a week to allow us to be at hospital 7 days a week and to assist our difficult financial position.
  • Father had 3 insurance options. “Options” because government legislation only allowed one claim even if you had paid 3. The choice was made based on medical cover not family income.
  • Mother got to know other people with insurance issues and started a victims group. Most notable was her fight to change death benefits. At the time women were worth $6,000 in event of death regardless of earning or position in family and a man $42,000 regardless. My mother fought this in the media and in government offices and eventually the government took an opportunity to save face by paying out the member of mums group (also a party member of theirs) effected by this with back payment to the new level of $46,000 for both genders.
  • Mum also went back to work after 15 years as a housewife.

Early working life.

  • Retrenched from apprenticeship after first year.
  • Educational part of our training was in Western Australia, convinced N.T. government they owed me the training if they couldn’t find me employment (as was their roll in the agreement) so they paid for trip to Perth and back with accommodation for a month.
  • Did training, cashed in return tickets. Combined and with cash from sale of car and airfare travelled to Adelaide and Melbourne seeking work.
  • Arrived in Melbourne with $20 and no plan or income. Stayed in broken down bungalow in a family friends yard.
  • Found apprenticeship as Instrument maker and repaired and finished trade time as an Instrument Technician (Electrical Engineering or Architecture).

Melbourne years.

  • Serious drinking habits formed in Darwin did not work in cooler climates. Began experimentation with drugs at 18.
  • Shared accommodation for years with students and drug addicts where often I was the only person with employment.
  • Social groups included sex workers, Melbourne’s homosexual community and the most often present and mostly stoned but enjoyable company of the bums I lived with.
  • Penned as one of the 7 Prophets the holy scriptures of “FUBARism” the worship of the Great Earthworm FUBAR, Recycle and Giver of Life.
  • A string of girlfriends moved in and out of my life with only one being serious and possibly lasting.
  • Agreed to run parents farm in Queensland and resigned from the perfect job.
  • Last minute changes, parents were not moving from farm and long term girl friend decided not to come with for fear of the big move.
  • Learned no to rely on other people along with “fuck it, I am not going to hold your hand everywhere, if you want to do something get off your own arse”. Lessons I think everyone should learn.Married?
  • Unable to live with my parents well the farm was never going to work well.
  • Dry from drugs (mostly by choice).
  • Met future wife at a nightclub on a chance meeting.
  • Moved to Brisbane and moved in with her.
  • Started our first business in Industrial control.
  • Took business management course.
  • Business lasted the usual one year of new businesses.
  • Moved out of the city to care-take rural properties.
  • Worked fruit picking.
  • Worked in meatworks where trained as a packer, retain trimmer, slicer and boner.
  • Undertook Associate diploma in agriculture but dropped it when I realised after 1.5 years the cost was not worth learning things I already knew with deeper understanding from previous learning, running a business and a farm.
  • Got married after 3 years together.
  • Son born 9 months on.

Shifting about.

  • Moved up and down NSW and Qld chasing work and opportunities.
  • Wife finally got full time work in her trade.
  •  I took up the parenting job full time.
  • Bored and for extra income I took up shitty night jobs and finally started my own business.
  • Funded dance studio.
  •  Started touring the business through Qld, N.T. and W.A.
  • Son started school. Start of active atheism. Wife wrote letters that resulted in school prayer and school creeds (which mentioned god) removed from all Queensland state schools.
  • I did not win the battle to have R.I taken out of the class room before we moved to NSW.


  • Married my second partner.
  • Funded online sale side of business.
  • Second son born a year ago.
  • Started building a mobile office and accommodation in a bus to get the business back on the road.

I have to admit to being a slow poster here and now. I had a good run when I started out because I had 12 months of radio script that needed to be published to the world somewhere. My first half dozen posts, at least, are pure radio script rewritten for a blog but I was on a run and got a little more out of this feeble old brain.


I also do a little photography of local wildlife.

Since starting up I have managed to also get the radio station in question on air. That has taken much of my spare time, even some of my not so spare time and my writing time has been used to actually produce radio content over two hour shows. One of the shows being about my life as an atheist as you may expect (the other is Ska music, feel free to tune in if you’re in the area, 102.9FM). (Edit: also now have a Rave Music show :p).

I am also an at home parent (the rare kind, a father) and if any of you have been left with a child under 5 years of age you will know how demanding of your time they are. Life seems to be a problem getting in the way of my writing time but well my kids are almost worth it 🙂


…and local environment. Which may be a dry one.

I have a problem with boredom as an at home parent so 15 or so years back while caring for my first kid I also started a small business. I ventured out into the entertainment world and though I am an out of practice musician it was a long way from my trade in industrial engineering. I started out entertaining kids at birthday parties as a clown and balloon artist and have expanded to many other fields including stilt puppetry and circus workshops performing at much larger events. My writing time has over the years has been taken up through this avenue having written a pantomime and have three more in draft and including performance notes for a roving entertainment variation for event performance.

I think finally – I mean I could go back in time to writing a newspaper column but I can’t make that relevant now – is fiction novels and song writing. I have a book 80% written and another concept sketched. I also have one song published and 5 more awaiting publication/production. You can never have too much too do, right?


…and architecture. This now out of use aqueduct system spans huge areas of China.

I will put forward here and now that I am also an edit freak which is what slows much of my work. When I write I pen everything in my head and that means going back and taking out everything surplice to requirement. I actually have some 12 posts in draft but I want to check them and that always, without fail, leads to editing.

So who cares?

Probably nobody but I thought I should explain why my content can be slow coming. Maybe someone some day will want to know why I don’t publish more work. I’m not being paid for this (or much of anything, also outfitting a bus as a motor-home and office for our business, earning is on hold while I do that 🙂 ) so I do what I can when I can. Maybe I need some profit motive :p

If you like what I do feel free to let me know. Maybe I can be encouraged to do more 😀

These words “because I don’t want to think about it” will stay with me for a long time. An acquaintance of mine spoke them to me in regard to her deciding to become christian and they were I think the end of a potential friendship. Not on their own, but they were the key reason for the rest of the conversation which included all of the usual tag lines.

I should explain that this person is Chinese and moved to Australia less than 2 years ago. Something that concerns me about the Chinese is how susceptible to religion they are because of communism and culture. This person was not an educated atheist or philosophy veteran crossing over to religion. This person was a clean slate and religion is winning over my counter perspective and reasoning (it’s local, I’m not, I have the distance disadvantage).

I will have to explain the Chinese before going on to explain the “clean slate”.

The Chinese learn of religion in school as somewhat of a joke on western society. It is, I can’t deny it but this learning is not a true comparative religion course or philosophy course which would serve better to instil the communist doctrine of antitheism. They are simply taught it exists. What they learn gives them no tools with which to refute or fend off the deceptions used by religion to talk hold of and control people.

This goes one step further because the Chinese have not actually done away with religion. Maybe Mao didn’t understand how much buddhism and ancestor worship were a part of his own life being raised buddhist. Maybe he did and like all the wisest and worst political leaders used religion to his benefit. The fact remains that religion is a part of Chinese society. Chinese pseudo medicine is rife through China with hospitals even having traditional medicine wings. Ancestor worship and fending off spirits is considered “culture” with shops letting of crackers before opening for the day to fend off evil. New years celebrations for one also include crackers and other ancestor worship activities. The Chinese are religious and practice religion in more ways than they know, they simply see it as culture, not unlike cultural Christians in the west.

When western religion goes to China with its well practised deceptions the Chinese are unready for it, they consider it without the Firewall we in the west have. We in the west all have a firewall against religion. The religious have a firewall against other religions and we atheists have a firewall against all religion. We grow up with the tools to defend against religion because we see it or are taught it all our lives. This is simply not a part of Chinese culture. Worse Chinese culture is all about respect for the past and your elders. Religion plays on this respect in their culture and it allows christianity to do the same.

So this Chinese person came to Australia. I guess it put her in more danger.

She is an at home mother in a new country and needed social outlets. She also wanted to improve her English and get out of the house. Not problems for her in China. We all need things to do and in China everything and everywhere is so much more. More everything. We live a quiet life in Australia, very different even without the language and new country barriers. Anyway she found a church near her offered English for new Australians (an easy target group but I have also wondered if its one of the government funded service) so she made use of their services. From there she became socially involved, she went to bible classes, went along to some of their community outreach and from there she has decided to become christian (I’ve seen the process before).

Her reasoning for deciding to become christian really bother me but are common enough and nothing new to me, the same mindless drivel I have heard all my life. “I want there to be a god”. Well sure, couldn’t we all occasionally do with an all loving something, wouldn’t that be sweet? But that is not the christian god, that version of their god is the lie sold to children and the unwary (this person can’t claim to be entirely unwary with me in her other ear). Even so the god she has settled with is the simplistic loving one used to get you in so they can keep you in with hell fire and brimstone. This is actually a problem for our friendship because it is too simplistic and leads to simplistic thinking. People at this level start to think hell is a serious problem and I find nothing in my mind is more insulting than someone thinking you need to burn in hell for not believing in their imaginary friend. Okay this is less about me, I don’t believe in your friend, its really no skin off my nose. The real problem is that with its heaven and hell this religion fucks with your real world relationships. For someone struggling with relationships this isn’t what you want added to your problems. For some reason you will now look at otherwise good people and your family and think they will burn. You will think they need to be saved, you know they need your imaginary friend and you can’t just see them as people who just need you. How is this added concern helping you to love? How is this improving your mindset? You know what, a loving thing would be great but I don’t want it to be the god you’ve chosen. Why would you?

Her next line of “rationality” was “I don’t want to think about it”. This is just fucked up. You did think about it. Someone lied to you that accepting belief wasn’t “thinking”. They gave you a variation of one the most simplistic theological philosophies of all time, pascals wager, and you only gave it the consideration they told you to give it. “Isn’t it better to believe than not?” Well no, god comes with consequences, not believing doesn’t. This wager begs additional questions you chose not to consider, you though but you stopped short. What god is the right god? What proof did they give you and did you consider the proof of other gods? If you really didn’t want to think about gods, why didn’t you remain atheist? We think about gods far less than religious folk (even when we blog about theism). I don’t fear hell or any other shit attached to gods because “I” really don’t think about them. What you have actually decided is to think about god and stop considering really an option.

This was the beginning of the end of a potential friendship. I can’t take blatant stupidity from people in my life. It will take some effort to continue this friendship beyond this point (and I can’t say I didn’t see it coming).

The tag lines that confirmed my suspicions about the state of this persons mind were “I had a personal experience”, “bless you” and “meeting you and having you as a friend is a blessing”. The last one of which shit me up the wall. I don’t give a fuck about your “experience”, it doesn’t rate as evidence and nor should you (and its worse when you express it with a confirmation bias). Blessing me is just you hoping your imaginary friend will act on my part and its a fucking lazy way to express friendship. If you want me to do well and consider yourself a friend, you be a friend, don’t put your imaginary friend in charge of making my life better. But, worst of all, is telling me I am a blessing.

I didn’t become a friend because of your fucking imaginary friend (and in this case she didn’t have one when we met). Why did your friend wait so long for us to meet? What part did our own actions take in our meeting? What actions of mine made events in our lives possible? Why when I had been doing the same thing for 10 years or more had it taken so long for your god to get to the point of our meeting? Why did we meet before you decided to be christard? I am not a blessing to anyone. I am not god given, there are no gods. Give me what is mine. If I acted in a way that created the potential of our meeting, I did that not your imaginary friend. I am the person who didn’t judge, listened, offered advise and didn’t get involved when you discussed your personal relationships. This is what I learned in almost 50 years of life, it was not dropped on me by a god. Stop trying to attribute anything about me to your imagination. I am the result of events in my life and choices I made.

For me personally, I lost respect for someone this week. I also think I lost a potential friend and think religion gained another idiot. It never fun learning people are not as bright as you think they are.

Beyond my week and events of the week, what really concerns me in all of this is that this is how I see religion spreading through China. My mother in-law, an old woman from a rice farming village, believes in jesus (I don’t think she really knows what a jesus is) because someone has sold her on hedging her bets. Yes pascals wager. The Chinese are susceptible and evangelists know it and exploit it. During my time living in China I saw women handing out pamphlets on streets and even bothering passengers on busses. Pamphlets straight out of the jehovah’s witness handbook. The most simplistic nonsense but nonsense the Chinese have little defended against. I find this to be a very sad even without the personal connection. It’s sad we human are not better than this.

I will end this rant here. I am a little upset at how little power we have against the might of religion. I can’t even save the people I like when the church has more of their time and is in their ear more often. I can’t even offer the services or social connections that religion does. All I can do as a counter measure is promote secular organisations (and will now, today, record the promotions for our community radio station) who always need new people and support to continue their services. Walking clubs, sport clubs, arts groups, community bands, community radio stations are some what we have, our only alternative to church (there may be more options in your area). What we atheists and secularists don’t have is that one overriding factor – god – that keeps people involved in these community activities. Without god community organisations need people. I am going to leave this rant for you to think on and ask only that all atheists to join at least one community group (with my business I joined our radio station 3 times 😉 ). If we are to give people an option to religion…

May your gods remain fictional.

The Antitheocrat.